Chaplain’s Column

Paddling Upstream

Whether because of acclimatization or just resignation, I decided recently to stop waiting for the weather to get cooler before getting outside – so at my wife’s urging I purchased one of the recreational kayaks that the NEX had on sale this month. On my second time out with it, I put in off Yorktown Rd., at the southern end of Oso Bay.

There was a brisk wind that morning, and the water was a bit choppy, so I headed upwind. I would paddle for two-thirds of my planned time, then turn around and enjoy riding the wind and waves back to my starting point. However, 20 minutes into my paddle, I looked back over my shoulder, and there was my truck – I was barely moving at all! My mindset quickly changed from casual recreation into a battle. I blamed the weather, the kayak, the paddle, my conditioning … anything I could think of. I sped up my cadence, watched the shoreline, set my jaw and drove forward.

A few minutes more and I had moved far enough for a surprise to come into view: a vigorous flow through the spillway from the Davis Reservoir. I had thought I was fighting wind and waves, but mostly they were masking my real opponent – a significant current flowing north from the reservoir. My sudden laugh startled away two pelicans and a heron: the battle was lighter when I understood what was happening!

Many times in life, it feels like a battle just to get through our day. At work, in our families, with our health, in our finances – it can feel like we are struggling with all our might, but getting nowhere toward what we expected or hoped to accomplish. “I would have thought by now …” can become a refrain of disappointment and frustration in our lives, much like my glimpse back over my shoulder that revealed what little progress I had made paddling away from my truck.

When we feel that discouragement, there are some lessons we can take from my paddle on Oso Bay. First, learn to understand the obstacles. I thought I was battling wind and waves; I added my equipment and my own strength to the complaints; but the biggest obstacle was the unseen current. In life, we can become angry with others, with outward circumstances, or with ourselves; but our greatest struggles may be unseen.

Our spiritual lives, our mental and emotional wellness, and our relationships with others make the greatest difference in our satisfaction and contentment, but are easily forgotten. Put positively, when we cultivate those unseen areas, we are frequently amazed to find how our struggles and striving fall into place because they have meaning and purpose.

Once we gain that perspective, we may discover a second lesson: that the struggle is making us stronger. Part of my reason for kayaking was exercise; I did not want it to be too easy. However, in a mindset of frustration, I could quickly forget that.

Once I understood and adjusted my thinking, I could return to the challenge of paddling, and enjoy the healthy workout, even against the current.

Similarly, when we place life’s difficulties in the context of our growth as people and our greater purpose, they can become the “exercise” we want and need. Each of us can look back on times of financial struggle, academic challenge, relationship strain, etc., and know that they have made us stronger. The challenge is to see them that way in the moment.

This relates to the third lesson: as much as it sounds like a cliché, our purpose really is in the journey, not the destination. I set out in the kayak not to reach a certain place, but to spend time on the water. In the midst of the battle, I could lose sight of that, thinking, “if I can just get to that next point on the shore, then I’ll turn around and it will be great!” What a relief, though, when I could laugh and allow it to be great now, regardless of how far I got!

Frequently, we need to free ourselves from the trap of “Life will be good when …” Those struggle-free days to come are likely an illusion; but just as importantly, right in the midst of today’s struggle there are joys to experience, blessings to savor, people to love, and laughter to share.

Are you paddling upstream lately? May your heart be renewed by a perspective that sees the unseen, and takes joy in the moment!