Chaplain’s Column
Don’t settle for “Just OK”
February is a special month. Not only is it the shortest month of the year but Valentine’s Day falls on the 14th of this month as well. Many of us will forget this romantic day until it is upon us, remembering just in time to send candy, roses and cards filled with expressions of love and devotion to our true loves.
According to the National Retail Federation, only about 55 percent of Americans celebrate Valentine’s Day, but those who do will spend an average of $146.84, up a few dollars from last year’s average of $142.31. In total, Valentine’s Day spending is expected to hit $19.7 billion this year.
I often ask couples, why they want to get married? With love in their eyes, as they look at each other, they turn back to me and respond, “we love each other!”
After refraining from bursting out in laughter, I then respond with, “it will take more than that to have a healthy and lasting marriage.”
A healthy marriage will cost you more than flowers, cards and candy. It will cost you – you!
Jesus, while teaching on discipleship in the gospel of Luke, said,
“For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?”
This is true in our marriage relationships. We talk about the cost of a wedding and neglect to consider the cost of marriage.
AT&T highlights the idea that, when it comes to wireless networks, just OK is not OK. One of their commercials shows a young man in a tattoo parlor.
The tattoo artist, asks him if it’s his first tattoo and urges him to relax because “it’s gonna look ok. “Only ok?” the customer asks. The tattoo artist replies, “Don’t worry, boss. I’m one of the tattoo artists in the city.” “You mean one of the best tattoo artists in the city, right?” the customer asks again, wanting to know that he came to the right guy for a tattoo. The reply from the tattoo artist, “Something like that” did not come as a relief to the customer though.
See, “just OK, is not OK.”
“Just OK is not OK, especially when it comes to your “network,” or your relationships. Most people don’t go into marriage for an “OK” marriage. Healthy marriages just don’t happen, they are intentional.
The word “intentional” as an adjective means to do things in a way that is planned or intended. It means to do things as they are designed and having an extreme reference to guide it. Some synonyms include conscious, deliberate, intended, purposeful, willful, etc.
Consequently, when we are admonished to be intentional with our lives, it simply means to live by design. It means to live a planned, organized and purposeful life so that things will not be done haphazardly.
Being intentional in your marriage means being proactive and working on your marriage each and every day. It involves taking responsibility for your actions and the effect they have on your marriage, and also making adjustments when things start to get off track.”
Just OK is not OK in marriage.
Marriage is hard and it will cost you greatly, but when done by design, It is awesome!
Use this Valentines’s Day to get your relationship off automatic pilot. Invest in each other. Go on a date. Take a long walk.
Talk. No, really communicate.
Have fun!